Kale Chips

So I have this theory: no one actually likes kale chips. And I mean, compared to their delicious potato counterpart, it’s really no competition- but not everyone can eat a bag of Lays, and more to the point, not everyone wants to eat a bag of Lays. Cue the entrance of our green chewy savior. Salty, spiced to flavor, and I get my iron. Win, win, win, win, win. Win.

Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 8-10 minutes
Yield: As Much As Your Green Little Heart Desires

Ingredients:

  • 1 bunch of kale
  • 1/2 tbs of avocado/olive oil
  • Optional, choose one or two: salt, nutritional yeast flakes, chipotle seasoning, pepper

Baking:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
  2. Strip kale stems and cut into potato-sized chunks. Place in a bowl.
  3. Drizzle oil onto kale, mix thoroughly.
  4. Season kale.
  5. Place kale on pan, spread evenly, with little or no overlap.
  6. Bake for 8-10 minutes, or until edges turn slightly brown.
  7. Kale should be crisp and dry.

Whipping up a bowl of kale chips takes hardly any time at all, and depending on how you cut the kale/ how you season the kale, I find this to be a perfect substitute for popcorn. Salty, crunchy, with lots of room for creativity.
Eat up.

Banana Bread

I eat a lot of bananas. Unfortunately, I can’t always get to them before they brown, and this has resulted in a rather large pile of suggestively shaped bricks sitting in my freezer. After trial and error with many, many different batters, I finally hit the jackpot.

And the jackpot happens to be gluten free. Hell yeah, baby.

I make the almond meal myself (refer to almond meal/milk) and I find the coconut flour helps to keep the bread from being too damp, if that makes sense. Fair warning, my recipe makes an entire loaf and a dozen muffins.

Ingredients:

  • 4 ripe bananas
  • 3 cups of almond meal
  • 1/2 cup of coconut flour
  • 2 tsp of baking soda
  • 2 tsp of cinnamon
  • 2 tsp of vanilla
  • 4 eggs
  • 1/2 cup of coconut oil
  • 1 1/2 tbs of peanut butter
  • 1 tbs of maple syrup
  • Optional: Crushed walnuts, crushed pecans, brown sugar crumble.

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350.
  2. Mix all dry ingredients.
  3. Mix all wet ingredients.
  4. Combine, mix evenly, and distribute between loaf pan and muffin tin.
  5. Sprinkle top of loaf and muffins with brown sugar and nuts.
  6. Bake the muffins for 27 minutes, and the loaf for 58 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Well, I never said this recipe was easy on the sugar, but I have absolutely no regrets there.

Enjoy!

Almond Flour Biscuits

Now before you start thinking to yourself “who the hell still eats biscuits in this day and age”, let me explain myself. If you’re celiac, gluten-free by choice, or you just want to feel good- plain and simple- there is no more diverse food item than the biscuit. You’ll find this gem under an over-easy egg, topped with nutritional yeast flakes, and gone in about 2 minutes flat. They store well and age better than your finest red, that is, softening rather than turning to stone. They’re filling (because rabbit food can only get you so far) and they kept me fed and happy for a night on top of a mountain, slathered in peanut butter and warmed by the fire.

Almond-Flour Biscuits

Prep time: 5 minutes
Cook time: 20 minutes
Yield: 8-10

Ingredients:

  • 2 1/2 cups of almond flour
  • 1 teaspoon of baking soda
  • 3/4 sea salt (in the past I’ve had to use the salt that comes in tiny little pebbles, still breathing)
  • 1/4 cup of coconut oil (melted, usually supposed to wait for it to cool but I never do)
  • 1 tablespoon of honey (I am currently using maple syrup- I prefer the tang to honey)
  • 2 large eggs
  • Optional: additional eggs (yes that means you’ll need more flour, look at you go)
  • Optional: oat/seed/raisin crumble topping

Baking:

  1. Moment of truth, most of the time I just put all the dry ingredients in and splash the wet stuff in after.
  2. If I’m adding extra eggs, I’ll begin by slowly adding tablespoons of additional almond flour until the dough reaches the right consistency- which in case you’re wondering, resembles chocolate chip cookie dough, except its just considerably more disappointing without the sugar and chocolate.
  3. Use parchment paper (compostable) or avocado oil to grease the pan, and I forgot to mention, but you should’ve had the oven preheating to 350f (175c).
  4. Begin placing large tablespoons of dough separated evenly on the pan. Just let them do their thing, it’ll be fine.
  5. You can now sprinkle the oat/seed/raisin topping mentioned above, and don’t worry if you make a mess on the pan- you’ll just toast whatever doesn’t bake onto the biscuits, which makes for a yummy side bowl with almond milk.
  6. Bake for 15-20minutes or until golden brown. Be warned, almond flour burns very easily and suddenly.

Eat with eggs, peanut butter, jam, and pride.

Lazy Sunday Breakfast

I wake up every morning stupidly excited to have this gluten free breakfast spread to kick start my day.

Ingredients:
– Half an avocado
– Some sort of sweet fruit to balance the flavors
– 1 almond flour biscuit
– 1 egg
– 1/2 teaspoon of nutritional yeast flakes
– Salt and Pepper to taste
– Optional: additional vegetables/fruits

Instructions: 

  1. Set small pan on stove, at medium heat. Grease pan with olive or avocado oil.
  2. Cook the egg, obviously to personal preference (though soft sunny side up is hands down the best way to eat this).
  3. Place biscuit in the bottom of the dish, garnished with nutritional yeast flakes, salt and pepper, and any other vegetables. Red peppers go really well with the egg and yeast flakes.
  4. Put all the remaining stuff on your plate, and eat warm. Now go save the world.